For twenty-six years now, the most dreaded night of the year has always been the last night before going back to school after Christmas break. The first day back after summer break is not even this hard. At that point, I've had two months off, and I'm generally ready to go back (well, except for this last summer,...I was not ready to go back, because I had had such a wonderful summer).

Back to school, after Christmas break, is just plain 'ol hard, after having spent two weeks with family and friends, baking, cooking, playing games, watching Christmas movies, etc. Intense family time, that's what Christmas break is. Nothing better. No other time during the year are we forced to be together in such a relatively short amount of time, in such close, warm, cozy quarters, under usually happy circumstances (ideally, anyway). Those times are made up of years of memories, ties that bind, traditions, etc. When this routine is changed, broken, or lost, it is one of the toughest times of the year for many people. It is hard to be happy when you've lost loved ones to death, divorce, separation, or other negative situations. However, life does go on, at least for most people. My heart goes out to those who no longer have family or friends to spend that Christmas time with, or are homeless. I am reminded of that at each holiday that my kids have gone to their dad's house for certain holidays. How do people deal with it when they don't have ANYONE to spend time with, at EACH holiday, every year? I have friends already in that position. We all know someone in that position, I am sure. I have a hard enough time being alone, knowing that my kids WILL at least return in a few days. Because of these "together" times, it is hard to go back to school that first school day in January. The next break is so far away.

I'm hoping the next five months fly by as quickly as the first semester did. I can't wait to get to next summer. It seems like an eternity away from now. I'm hoping that I will once again be able to smile and laugh again by then. I'm hoping that I will no longer be crying every time I'm alone. I'm hoping that I will have a desire to go on. I'm hoping I will want to be around people again, without fear of bursting into tears. I can't imagine that happening, but, I'm hoping it will.

God is good.