This has been a busy summer, and of course, it has flown by like it always does.  This is the middle of July and I'm still just as busy as I was while school was still going on.  There are way too many things going on, and I truly just want to rest for a few days with no where to go, no appointments, no commitments, etc.  I just want to stop the clock.  I think I probably say that each and every summer, don't I? 

I'm still pretty confused.  I have filled out all of the applications to teach in another state.  I have done a couple of interviews.  Now, the waiting for last minute offers, then, trying to decide what to do. The decision whether to take a job, if offered.  The decision what to do with everything in my house.  The decision what to do with my house.  The decision whether to go by myself if my friend does not also get a job in this other state.  Decisions, decisions...something I am NOT very good at. 

Being by myself should not be a problem.  I should be used to that.  Sadly, I'm not.  Still very hard.  But to be by oneself in a whole different state where I don't know ANYONE, that will be even harder, I'm sure.  Am I too old to make all of these changes, or am I way past due? 

Throw in another wrench.  Yes, a wrench that I had put back in the far recesses of my mind and hadn't expected to have to deal with for a few more years.  This wrench reared it's ugly head last Wednesday when I woke up.  I'm not digging it.  Not one bit.  Suddenly, I find myself feeling guilty for every small thing I once took for granted my entire life.  Numero uno on that list, of course, is my vision.  It hasn't always been the best, but, at least I could read, write, and drive before, with very little difficulty. Now, those three little things are much more challenging since waking up last Wednesday.  Those cataracts that my eye doctor told me about a year or two ago?  The ones he told me we'd just watch.  He said, "We'll just watch them and wait until they get really bad, THEN do surgery."  That was really the last time I thought about them.  I don't worry.  Never have.  No sense in it, no need, and it doesn't help.  Ever.  I guess I really just kind of forgot about them.  Didn't really even think they'd get this bad this soon.  I have a new found respect for people who have to deal with this on a daily basis, and have done so most of their lives.  HOW do they deal with it?  How do they remain independent?  Of course, I know I'm probably being overly dramatic, because from what I've heard, the surgery is a breeze and works miracles.  I'm hoping and praying that this sudden loss of vision is those darn cataracts and NOT something else.  The something else could possibly be the fact that the medicine I take for my Lupus could cause me to go blind.  If you're reading this and you pray, please say a little prayer that my sudden vision impairment is JUST cataracts, NOT the other possibility!  I'm hoping to find something out for sure this week, when I go to see my eye doctor.  Hoping that it is cataracts and he schedules my surgery very soon.  I cannot afford to take off work during the first month of school, especially if I get a job in a different state.  That would NOT be kosher!  Please, Lord, let this just be something minor, that can be taken care of soon.  I'm hoping the doctor does not say we need to let it get worse.  I can barely drive as it is.  I can barely see anything on my phone.  I have to enlarge my computer screen in order to see anything, and it's still very foggy or blurry. 

Okay, enough whining about my little problems.  I'm alive, and I am thankful.  I know, it could be worse.  Thank  you, Lord, for the many blessings you have given me.