Every day is getting better.  I'm doing much better this time, than I did the last two times...I guess after one cries everyday, several times a day,  for a solid two months or more, there's just not a lot of tears left.  I'm over the sick stomach...most of the time.  Rarely happens any more.  I only cried once today.  Didn't cry at all Saturday or Sunday.  So, I am making progress, and I'm quite proud of myself.

Just knowing something, one way or the other, makes all the difference in the world.  Knowing the truth, makes all the difference.  Oh, I knew all along.  I just wanted to hear it from the horse's mouth.  But, the horse wasn't talking.  Two whole months could've been saved if only the horse had talked earlier.  How can someone NOT know what they want?  I still just don't understand that concept.  I know what I want.  I always have.  However, like I said earlier, the horse knew what he wanted, he just didn't know how to tell me, for fear of hurting me even more, and in so doing, hurt me even more than he thought possible.  But, it's done.  It's over.  It's all good. 

A wise friend recently told me..."Break off all ties.  If it doesn't work out, this person will trample through hell and back, to get back to you. They will find you no matter where you are."   Well, I didn't want to break off all ties, and still don't.  But, that is happening soon, very soon, whether I like it or not.  This past week of practically NO communication was horrible, but, I DID survive.  This has been probably the loneliest week yet.  At least before, I still got phone calls, texts, and e-mails.  Now pretty much, nothing.  In the next day or so, even less, or zero.  It's still hard to believe....I feel so lost. 

Another friend, just today, said almost word for word the same thing...."You know, if it doesn't work out, and it wasn't meant to be...this person will find you, no matter what, if he REALLY does care about you."  Funny, two people, who have never even met or talked to each other, basically told me the same thing.   One told me this almost two months ago.  One told me this today. 

Personally, I don't think this will happen.  I think this person will never attempt to contact me again, ever, no matter where the future leads him.  So far, my hunches have been right on.  I usually can sense how these things will go.  I may not like what I'm sensing, but, I'm almost always 100% dead on.  Sad, but, true.  I never wanted it to turn out this way, but, suspected it would.  God gives us signs, red flags, instincts.  He gives those to us for a reason.  I chose to ignore them, hoping it would "all work out", as I was told.  It didn't work out.  So, now, I just have to accept it and move on.  I'm doing the best I can, and it's much easier the third time around.  I will be okay.  I will survive.  I have to keep telling myself that.  I do believe it this time.  I actually laughed last night, while here in this lonely house by myself, for the first time, in a long time.  Yes, making progress.  I'm going to make it.  Eventually. 

On a more positive note, I talked to my step-mom tonight & she told me that my dad had a GREAT day today!!!  He was in a good mood, knew where he was, what was going on, etc.!!!  So, I'm still hoping and praying that the new medicine will help him out!!!  :)  Thank you, Lord!!!  

God is good...