Three more days of school!  Two kid days; one teacher check-out day.  I CANNOT wait!!  I have so much I want to get done this summer.  I can't wait to get started.  However, my busy agenda must wait at least three or four more days.

I have survived my first full week and two days in this empty nest.  Thank the good Lord for busy, end-of-school paperwork, meetings, activities, etc., that have just absolutely kept me going 24/7, the last few weeks.  I've not had much time to think about the little blond-headed, blue-eyed, sweet angel, who used to quietly knock on my front door, and greet me with open arms and the words, "Gee-Gee" (rhymes with key-key).  Who am I kidding?  Yes, I've thought about him multiple times, each and every day.  Oh, how I miss him.  I did get to see him Saturday, and then, again yesterday, briefly, and I did get a request to keep an eye on him this Friday morning, bright and early, while his mom goes for a job interview!!  I can't wait! 

I still have mountains of paperwork.  I have my grades recorded and done.  It's the special ed. paperwork that is keeping me busy.  Everything has to be perfect and spotless before we check out.  Every /i/ dotted; every /t/ crossed; every blank filled in; every signature in the correct place; every page numbered; and ALL of that transferred to the computer program it is stored on for eternity.  Oh, and then, those pesky reports, with no template,....from hell, and me, who happens to be "spreadsheet/Excel challenged".  Ugh.  Yes, lovely paperwork.  The Wal-Mart greeter job is looking better everyday! 

Three more days.  IF I can get all of this paperwork done by then.  I'm having my doubts.  Getting ready to go to bed, so, maybe, possibly, hopefully, I can drag my body out of bed in the morning and get to school by 7:00 a.m., to get an early start on the folders I still need to double-check before storing for the summer, under lock and key, in a fire-proof safe.  I did finish combing through seven or eight of the twenty folders I am responsible for.  Almost half.  In one day.  Busting my buns in one day to get that many done.  It takes at LEAST and hour or so to get through one that has already been completed.  That probably doesn't make a bit of sense to anyone, unless one happens to be a special education teacher.  If a folder has been completed, that means the teacher has done anywhere from ten to twenty pages (and several hours) of tedious paperwork, invited all team members (an administrator or counselor, all the regular education teachers, any special services providers, i.e., speech pathologists, occupational therapists, physical therapists, outside counselors, social workers, parents, and students who are of age), held the meeting or rescheduled it because the parent didn't show up, once, twice, or three times.  That has all been done times twenty (number of students on my caseload this year).  Now, I'm going back through to make sure it was all done correctly, like I mentioned earlier, no missing signatures, no blanks anywhere, no missing page numbers, goals numbered on the hard copy and in the computer system, testing up-to-date, etc.  Never ending paperwork.  Did I mention that I hate paperwork?

Where do I begin?  Well, I'm breathing.  No more tears.  I'm exhausted.  I'm alive.  Occasionally, it does hit me square in the forehead.  This is what "empty nest" feels like.  So far, I'm not a big fan.  It's been so very hectic the last few weeks, I haven't really had a chance to even think much about it.  I plan to keep  busy to try my best not to dwell on the emptiness. 

On Wednesday, after school, I drove to Stillwater, picked up Morgan, drove on to Oklahoma City, and spent the night there.  Chris, Morgan's boyfriend, rode  with me to pick up Morgan.  I did not sleep a wink all night long Wednesday night.  I finally got up about ten minutes before 4:00 a.m., got my shower, and got ready to head to the hospital by 5:00.  Morgan's dad had met us at the hotel Wednesday night, and followed us to the hospital the next morning.  The surgery went well.  It was all done and over with very quickly.  She had two wisdom teeth removed, but, because of all of her heart issues, her cardiologist wanted it done at Children's Hospital, so, he could be there.  Of course, that was fine by me.  I felt much better knowing he would be present. 

We were discharged and on the road, headed back home by 10:30 or 11:00, that same morning.  There were no heart-related complications, thank the good Lord, so no extended stay at the hospital.  We were probably back home by 3:00 or 4:00, I'm guessing, maybe even earlier.  Morgan slept quite a bit Thursday and Friday.  On Friday, Chris came over to stay with Morgan while I went to two doctor appointments, one in Tulsa, one in Owasso.  I had made them a couple of months ago, and really didn't want to put them off for a couple more months.  Morgan was sleeping a lot, but, I just didn't want to leave her by herself so soon after surgery. 

Bright and early, Saturday morning, Morgan (with one swollen jaw) and I got up, got ready, and went to watch Chris graduate!  This was also moving day, for Jake and Amanda.  I had promised them I would watch Jakob while they loaded the moving truck, so, we took him to the graduation ceremony with us.  He was so cute; he clapped every time he heard someone else clap for their graduate!!  After graduation, Morgan went to lunch with Chris and his family.  I was invited, but, declined, as I had a horrible crick in my neck, and I needed to get the baby back to his parents and his new home.  One of my best friends called and wanted to meet me at Jake's to see his new house.  She loved their new house.  It is just beautiful, I know they are very happy and proud of it.

Today....I got up early, drove to Owasso, ran by Jake's new house, dropped off a few things at his house, then, went grocery shopping for soft foods for Morgan.  I came home, made homemade potato soup, homemade French onion soup, and meatloaf babies in the muffin pan!  I sent most of it with Morgan when she headed back to school.  I saved a few portions for me to take to school for lunch this week. 

When she left, I sat down to rest for a few minutes, as I had not had much time to rest all day.  Then, I went out to feed the horses, water my flowers, then, I came back in to finish cleaning the kitchen from all of the earlier cooking.  I am now ready to go to bed.  My wagon is draggin'....

Only eight more days of school, total.  Seven kid days.  Eight teacher days.  I cannot wait!!!  So much to do though.  So little time!!  Yikes!!  Where does the time go?  Time passes SO quickly. 

I miss my kids.  I miss my mom.  This is hard.  For the first time in my entire life, I am all alone. 


Alone.


Not where I want to be.

Happy Mother's Day, Moma.  I miss you SO, so, so very much.  Twenty-seven years since I saw your sweet face and smile, hugged your neck, talked to you...can't wait to see you again, in Heaven.  Love you, Moma.

When I took Morgy to her pre-op appointment last Thursday, I found out that her boyfriend had not yet acquired any Senior pictures or announcements.  His graduation is this coming Saturday, the 12th.  This is a really good boy, hard worker, good manners, etc., however, his parents have not been able to help him with all the costs of being a Senior in high school.  I felt horrible that he had not been able to purchase announcements or Senior pictures.  I asked my daughter-in-law, who is an EXCELLENT amateur photographer, if she would care to take some informal pictures of Chris.  She said, "Yes, of course!", much to my relief. 

Bright and early, Amanda and I loaded up the baby, the camera, and a few last minute props.  We drove about fifteen miles and met Chris on a dirt road.  He had a certain old bridge, actually two bridges, he wanted some pictures taken on.  We got near the first bridge and discovered the road was covered in water.  Yikes!!  Chris assured me it was "only about two inches deep" and covered with gravel, very stable.  I got out, and made Amanda get in the driver's seat and she drove my truck over the water as I sat in the passenger's seat and prayed really hard that we didn't drown my precious grandbaby.  Of course, Chris led the way and we watched the depth of the water on his tires.  Looked relatively easy.  We went for it. Chris was right, we could feel the rough gravel underneath us as we crossed the water.   We got to the other side of the water safely.  Oh, the things we do for our kids, and their loved ones....

We got out, took a few pictures on the first old bridge.  Oh, I forgot to mention, it sprinkled and showered on us a little while we were driving to the location.  I also kept praying that it would clear up so we could get at least a few pictures for his announcements.  All the way from Nowata to Alluwe, it either sprinkled or showered on us intermittently, all the while, the sun was shining.  My grandma used to tell me that when the sun was shining while it was raining, that meant that the devil was whipping his wife.  Hmmmm....the things you remember.  Miss my grandma.  Anyway, by the time we started snapping pictures on that first bridge, the good Lord agreed that we needed more sunshine and less rain.  Thank  you, Lord, for a beautiful morning of sunshine and a hold on the rain so we could accomplish our mission.  God is good.  :)

After the first bridge, Chris took us to a second bridge.  It looked a little sturdier.  It had a steel beam on each side for the side rails.  I don't know what the technical term is, but, on this steel beam about every three or four feet were the first names of different girls, painted in white.  No, I don't want to know why.  One of these names just happened to belong to my daughter.  Morgan.  I asked Chris if he painted her name on the bridge.  He assured me he didn't.  Okay, I believe him.  I do.  So, I thought it might be neat if he sat on the railing, next to her name for a picture.  Then, later, I had him pose next to his truck and happened to notice where someone, probably my daughter, Morgan, had written her name and drawn a heart with her finger, in the dust, near the tailgate of the truck.  Ahhh....another cute photo op!!!  We finished up there then, drove back over the water to a few more locations. 

We found an old metal fence, which was painted turquoise green (my favorite color, besides blue, of course) in front of an old barn, and took some pictures there, and in the field of wheat, waving in the wind.  Oh, and I must tell you that poor Amanda and Chris were EXTREMELY patient with me, as I took it upon myself to be the official "poser composer"!  Ha!!  I was really getting into the posing aspect of the whole photography session!!  It was SO much fun!!  I would tell Chris "put your arm here", "turn your head this way", "sit up on top of that fence", "sit in this chair, with the guitar and wagon wheel next to it" (my props!), "look down", "look up", "turn your head to the side", "wait, no, not that far", and on and on.  I was probably driving him and my daughter-in-law BOTH crazy!!  But, it was SO much fun!!  Oh, I already said that, didn't I?  I could totally be a "poser helper girl"! Hehehe!! 

The absolute BEST backdrop was a grove of wild pink and red roses though.  Who would put a tall, tough cowboy, with cowboy boots, cowboy shirt with pearl snap buttons, and baseball cap (complete with fishing hook on the bill) in front of a beautiful, huge spray of the best, wild roses I've EVER seen in my entire life?  Yep, that would be me!!  :)  He did everything we asked of him and he was a good sport, but, he did make us promise that we would NOT put that picture on his announcements.  We promised.  I did tell him that I just wanted that picture for me, and I would print it but not post it on facebook or anywhere else.  Wouldn't you know it, that was probably one of the best pictures (well, they were ALL excellent) in the whole group of over one hundred and fifty amazing pictures.  When we finished up, Chris gave us both a hug, thanked us, and offered to pay us when he got paid again.  I told him this was his graduation present from me.  He thanked me and hugged me again. 

After finishing the photo session, Amanda and I raced home, uploaded the pictures, and began composing his announcement online.  We ordered a couple of  8 x 10 collages, one for his mom, and one for Morgan.  We ordered some wallet size photos for him to hand out to friends and relatives, four different poses, and one 4 x 6 of him in the midst of about a million baby wild roses.  That one, was, of course, for moi.  :)  We submitted the order and the confirmation page said our order would be ready by 6:00 p.m. that evening, in Owasso, thirty minutes away.  By this time, I think it was maybe 1:00 or 1:30, maybe even 2:00.  We sat and watched the clock basically.  We were both so anxious to see the actual finished product.   The pictures looked REALLY good online. 

In the meantime, Chris was on his way to Tulsa.  His brother was having a fish fry in honor of the graduation of Chris and a female cousin of his.  The fish fry was to begin at 6:00 p.m. 

Amanda got a text or e-mail that our order of pictures was ready at 3:00!!  We hopped in the truck and headed that way.  I texted Chris and told him that we were headed to pick up the pictures, and if he wanted to meet us in Owasso, he could get his announcements and hand some out to his family members at the fish fry, since he was in a time crunch.  We picked up the pictures, then, I bought a couple of picture frames for him to put the collages in.  When he arrived, he wasn't going to look at the pictures, but, I just couldn't stand it; I HAD to show him what an excellent job Amanda had done!!  I pulled out the announcements and showed them to him.  You could see the look on his face.  He liked them!  Then, I showed him the collages, then, the wallets.  He liked them also.  Then, I said, "Oh, wait, I have to show you THIS one" (the rose picture).  He took one look and said, "Do you have another one like this?"  I said, "No, but, I can print another one for myself; you can have this one if you want it."  He said, "I think my sister would really like this one."  I said, "Then, it is yours to give to her."  He then, thanked us both AGAIN, and gave me a hug.  As he was walking away, he said, "If there's ever anything I can do for either of you, just let me know, I'd be glad to do it." 

THAT, is what life is ALL about.

Helping other people. 

What an amazing gift, to be able to do something so small, yet, so meaningful, for one young man, who needed just a little bit of help.  Thank you, so much, Amanda, for making this possible.  I love you.  You are amazing, awesome, wildly talented, smart, and very special to me. 

Thank you, Jakob, for being such a good little boy all day long while we took you in and out of your carseat at least a hundred times, drove you at least halfway across the state (it seemed), and your "GeeGee" let your little foot fall in a crack in that first bridge (I'm so sorry!!).

Thank you, Lord, for the sunshine and beautiful weather during the photo session.  Thank you for keeping us safe while we crossed the water over the road.  Thank you for keeping my truck running after the scary metal sounds coming from my brake pads (after driving through the water the second time).  But, most of all, dear Lord, thank you for blessingAmanda and me with this opportunity to help a sweet boy who is just starting out in life.

Took turns mowing with my daughter-in-law yesterday, for about five or six hours!!  We got her yard, my yard, the lot across the street, and the horses pasture all mowed!!  Jake is going to weedeat this evening when he gets home, then spray for weeds.  Hopefully, I won't have to weedeat much after that.  I'll just have to mow. 

Today, I helped Amanda clean out and pack up everything in their garage.  Then, we packed up a few more boxes of kitchen items.  I am SOoooooo tired now, but, love it when I get a lot done in a weekend.  It was AWESOME having Friday off yesterday!!!

I could REALLY use a nap right now, or a massage, or a soak in the hot tub, OR all three in reverse order, however, I received the following text from my friend yesterday: 

Charity: "Tamales and margaritas, tomorrow evening. :)"
My reply:  "Where?  What time?  What do I need to bring?" 
Her reply: "Mom's house. 6:00 p.m. Yourself. 
My reply:  I'm there!!

Happy Cinco de Mayo, amigos/amigas!!  :)