I'm loving this weather and wishing it could last all year around. I remember as a kid staying outside to play for hours in this kind of weather. I remember catching fireflies in a jar, riding bicycles through puddles, swimming every day in the summer, playing veterinarian with my best friend and next door neighbor, Kreela. I remember lying in the grass, looking up at the sky, not worried about anything. At that time, I had no clue about the time it took to do laundry, wash dishes, clean house, work an eight to ten hour day, etc. Life was easy. Life was simple. Life was good.

I have my mama and my daddy to thank for that. They made my childhood wonderful. Then, when I was twelve, they divorced. What shocks me the most though, is the divorce actually didn't upset me at all. Of course, I would rather have had them stay together, however, I knew they weren't happy. I was even tired of listening to them fuss and argue. It got old. I just wanted peace in my house. Just peace. I'm not going to say it was easy when my dad left, but, it was peaceful. I still like peace. I still want peace. I've never been one to like conflict. It's peace for me. Life is too short to be unhappy.

God is good.

So, so glad it's Friday. The last two weeks have been extremely busy. Eight out of ten days spent testing. Ugh.... Not going to get any less busy, anytime soon. Still have tons of paperwork to get done before the end of school. Only four weeks to go. Nineteen kid days. Twenty-one teacher days. Not near enough weekend days, nor enough summer days!!

Had a GREAT day! It's those few moments when everything is right with the world that makes life worth living.

Thank you, Lord.

God is good, all the time.

My truck is paid off!! Yay!! ANDddddd it hailed on it at least three or four times the last three days!! Arrgghhh....oh, well, I can't see any dings, but, it's all good either way.

My poor plants have been beaten from the hail. I hope they bounce back and survive!

Twenty-one more days. So much to get done in those few short weeks, got to get it ALL done, asap!!

This is hard. Lord, please help me. I need Your help. I need peace. I need resolution. I need direction. Where do I go from here?

Busy weekend, again. Massages, Easter egg hunt, laundry, but, best of all, a rainy, lazy Sunday, and time with family. Got to see my dad yesterday and today. He didn't look so great yesterday, and acted like he didn't feel good. He looked pale to me. Today, he and Maggie came over, and he looked great, seemed to be in a good mood, happy, etc. They had been to church.

Planted some more plants in my flower bed Friday night, as well as, a couple of hanging baskets with some herbs, for my front porch. I love the smell of rosemary. I also planted some parsley and basil. I just need to find some mint to plant, then, I'll be happy. Right now, my plants are really happy with all the rain we're getting!!

Did I say how much I love rain?!?

Lookin' for a rainbow...

God is good.

It's only Thursday, and this week has sure taken it's sweet time getting over with!! It started out good, but, is not ending up so great. Why is it that when things go horribly wrong, they just seem to snowball and get even worse by the minute.

This week we've been testing our specials all week long. That means I have one group of students, from 8:30 to 11:30,(and a different group everyday, some of which, I don't know & have never laid eyes on) then, my morning classes are missing out on my class...not that THEY mind, but, it sure wreaks havoc on my lesson plans!! Not to mention all the other paper work that I'm getting even further behind on....grrrr. Then, we do it at least four or five days again next week!!! Will I EVER get caught up on all of my paper work?? What is so bad is that while we are testing, the monitor and I are not allowed to do ANYTHING else. No paper work, no grading papers, no IEPs, no reading, no bathroom breaks, NOTHING!! Absolutely nothing!! At least three hours wasted every morning during testing. UGH!!!


On top of all of that, the kids are just out of this world this week. Not just my kids, everyone's kids. Many have been sent to In School Suspension, Back on Track (worse than ISS), or suspended, just the last couple of days. The full moon was LAST weekend!! What is going on?!?! We do have a change in temps/weather going on right at the moment, could that be it?? Probably so, plus, the fact that we only have twenty-five days left of school. They have just quit. Period. End of story. They have quit!


I wish the testing thing was my only problem, or even the student behaviors. It's really not that big of a deal. That's just the life of a teacher. Normal stuff. Keep you busy and on your toes stuff.


Everything seems to be falling apart right now. I just want to go to sleep, run away, or scream. None of those would help, well, except for the sleep. I could use a big 'ol Hershey bar right about now, but, I'm on a diet. I could use a large Sonic Dr. Pepper right now. No can do. I'm on a diet. I could use a lot of things right now, but, not in the plan.


One good thing DID happen today, however, I did get to go for my massage. Thank goodness for massage. What would I do without it, and my friend that I trade out with? Thank you, Lord.


Thank you, Lord, for rainy days, a warm, comfy bed, summer break, and little words from you that everything will be alright. I'm counting on that. I'm trusting You, Lord.


Standing on the promises.

God is good.

It was definitely a Monday. All day long....

Late this afternoon, I realized I had let my driver's license expire!! Yikes!! Panic set in! I made a mad dash back home to get it renewed, just in time, right before the office closed. I will definitely be signing up for the "driver's license renewal reminder e-mail"!!! It must be fairly new, because I was not aware that they did that!! I was worried I would have to take the test over!! That would be horrible if I did have to take it over and failed!! Special thanks to my friend "E" for letting me cancel our appointment, so I could get this done today, as my next chance would not be until Friday!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Got to spend a little time with little "J" and take a few pics!! He's a doll, for sure!!

Okay, so maybe I didn't get so much housework done this weekend. However, I DID get my flowerbeds 90% done!! I got them all completely cleaned out, added more topsoil, planted six azaleas, three hostas, two daylilies, two forsythias, four creeping phlox, and about a dozen or so red, orange, and yellow celosia plants!! I need to find some sweet potato vines and moss rose before I add my weed mat and my red mulch, then, I'll be completely done! It's looking really good!! Lowe's didn't have my sweet potato vines or moss rose, so, I'll have to look elsewhere, probably Tulsa. A garden is not complete without sweet potato vines. I love the color, the quick growth, and the filling in factor. I moved my whiskey barrels to a different spot, with Jake's help, well, actually, he pretty much moved them FOR me, then, planted the creeping phlox and a few of the celosia plants in them. I also helped Jake and Amanda plant flower beds around two sides of their house. I hope I can get out of my bed tomorrow!! That's hard work. I'm already sore, but, I'm not sure if it's from the workouts or the flower beds, or a combination of both!! Either way, I see an extremely early bedtime in my very near future!!

I also worked in a massage this afternoon, at my house, for a sweet young lady, who is letting Morgan stay at her house during the week, while she attends college classes!

I need to record my grades before tomorrow morning, so, I'm debating whether to do that right now, or go to bed NOW (6:03 p.m.), then, get up extra early (4:00 a.m.)in the morning. I'm so tired and sleepy, don't know if I can stay awake much longer, so, I'm leaning toward the early bedtime...besides, I work better under pressure!! Most people call that procrastination, I call it "being extremely focused".

I got my "square up" card in the mail!! I'm so excited about using it in my massage business and in Morgan's and my craft businesses!! I think it will be an asset in all of our little business ventures!!



Enjoyed my day yesterday...went to a baby shower, then, to Lowe's to pick out plants and load up on topsoil and red mulch. It's always fun picking out new plants. However, this year, I got several plants that will be in my flower bed forever!! I hope the azaleas do well. My mom always had azaleas, and we always went to Muskogee for the Azalea Festival. I will think of her every time I look at them, every time I water them, and every time I smell their fragrant flowers. I miss her so much. I've always admired and wanted yellow forsythias. My step-grandma, Lorene, had some in her yard when I was a teenager. I bought two for the front corners of my house. I can't wait to see their yellow blooms this fall. Again, I will remember Grandma Lorene when I water these and see their blooms later this year. I didn't plant anything that I normally have in my flower beds. I guess I'm ready to try new things, with the exception of my sweet potato vines and moss rose. I'm not willing to part with them. Must find those soon, so I can add my weed mat and mulch, before I start getting weeds. My whiskey barrels normally have the moss rose in them, but, this year, I'm trying out the creeping phlox, with pink in one barrel, and purple in the other barrel. I will add pictures as soon as possible!!

A much better day today, in most aspects. Kids were good. A couple of bad eggs gone, one for the rest of the year; the other one for two days. Much calmer class without those two. What a difference just two kiddos being gone from one class makes. I feel bad for them, yet, when they cause the rest of the class to miss out on instruction, on a daily basis, it's just not fair to the other eight kiddos in my class. Thank you, Lord.

Today was pretty hectic though, not much spare time. Mock testing today. Had no clue I was doing that. Love testing time. NOT! If only there was a way for it to be a little more organized and we knew what was going on BEFORE-HAND!! I feel for my counselor friend that has to try to organize all of the testing for the whole school. I don't know how she does it. I definitely would NOT want her job!! I'm not looking forward to the next three or four weeks of testing!!! Why do the last two months of school have to be so stinkin' busy and stressful??? However, it does make it go by quickly!!

So wish I would've had more time for some texts/phone calls. They help to break up my day & cheer me up!! I miss those.

Lots to do this weekend!! Had a great Friday night!! Got a good workout, visited w/Jake, Amanda, and Jakob. Had fun!

Tomorrow, a baby shower, then, home to clean house, and hopefully, another workout and a nice long walk. Hoping it's pretty and sunny tomorrow. I'm getting addicted to my walks already! After that, I have tons of paperwork!! Grades to record, IEPs to write...thank goodness for SEAS, which allows me to do IEPs at home!!

Can't wait for summer, yet, it's bittersweet. Thinking about what this summer WAS going to be like, versus reality. Pretty sad. That damn dime! I'm just going to concentrate on getting rid of as much "stuff" as possible, streamline and simplify my house; lose a few more pounds; take a couple of roadtrips; and go skydiving.

Seven. I love you.

God is good.

Thirty-one days until school is out. Time seems to be standing still at the moment. I'm so ready for summer vacation. I'm so ready for change. I don't see it happening though. Looks like I'm probably still stuck in time. I just want to get in my truck and drive as far away as I can. Still, I can't leave my dad, or my kids.

So empty. Where do I go from here?

A GREAT day today! God is good!! Thank you, Lord, for all you do for me.

It's the little things that mean the most. A phone call, a walk to clear the mind, holding a baby, getting a text that makes your day.

So loving this weather!! The wind was not bad. Walking was great!! Can't wait to meet my goal and go skydiving this summer!!

God is good.

Got a LOT done at school today. Four IEPs written, one meeting held!! If I can just do that every day for the next week or so, I'll be done w/all of my meetings!! One more step toward May 31st!! Can't wait!! Going to try to be there by 7:00 a.m. again tomorrow morning.

Morgan and I will have a booth at the "Peace, Love, and Crafts" Fair in Tulsa this Saturday!! Just doing her jewelry this time, may expand and include other items next time, if it goes well. It's just a one day fair, open from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Can't wait!! It should be lots of fun!!

Then, Sunday, Aluminum, with Amanda, then, taking Jakob home and spending the rest of the day with him!! Should be a busy, but, great weekend. Staying busy helps.

God is good. Thank you, Lord.

Six months. So much has changed, yet, so little. It still seems like yesterday, yet a lifetime ago. Time has flown, yet stood still. I'm stuck in time. They keep saying it'll get better with time, yet, it hasn't. It just doesn't. Ever. Get. Any. Better. Never.

Just existing.

That's all.

I miss you, mom. I need you.

Seven more weeks. Seven more Fridays. So much to do in the next seven weeks, it's unbelievable. Seven. My lucky number. Ha! Some luck! I just keep thinking of what WOULD have happened in the next seven weeks. Where I WOULD have been at the end of this seven weeks. What I was willing to do and give up, and the sacrifices I was willing to make. Gladly, willing to make. Happily, willing to make. The move. The new life. The new beginning.

Now, nothing. Just nothing. A forever of nothing. Seven, you've been good to me, up until now. NOW, you desert me.

God is STILL good.

Had an awesome day today!! Got to sleep in, first time in forever!!! I feel really bad though, because my dad called around 10:00 a.m. and wanted to know if I wanted to go to church with him. I knew I wouldn't have time to shower and get ready in time, so, I had to tell him no. I felt so bad.

Later, I met some friends in T-town, ate a late lunch, did some shopping, and lots of catching up!! We had so much fun!! I miss my friends. I didn't get home until around 6:00 or 6:30 this evening. Morgan is staying here tonight, so we got to visit a little. She's making tons of gorgeous necklaces!! She has some really cute business cards now, and I've been passing them out left and right!!

Great day!!

God is good!!

Up at 4:30 a.m. Showered, dressed, ate breakfast, did a few chores, and ready to go by 7:00. Watched Christie's interview with Good Morning America, at 7:40 a.m., about Irwin the Kangaroo, which was filmed at LaDonna's house!! So nifty!! There will also be an article about them in the next issue of People magazine!! Left the house by 8:15 to go do one massage, a new client!!

Home by 11:00, then, Jake, Jakob, and I went to an estate sale here in town. I found exactly what I was looking for, right off the bat...an old leaf rake!! Grand total? A whopping $1.50!!! Yes!! I'm going to remove the handle and use it as a way to display some of Morgan's necklaces at our next craft show. My idea? No, I actually stole/borrowed it...saw it on another website, thought it was a grand idea! I also found quite a few books!! Most of them were either twenty-five or fifty cents, some, even less than twenty-five cents!! Did I mention I LOVE old books? Can't wait to start reading one of them!

I kept Jakob for about an hour or hour and a half this afternoon. He and I had a great time playing in the floor with his toys, playing the piano, and just laughing. He's so cute. He never fussed or looked for mom or dad once!! He loves his "grammy"!!! And I love him.

Morgan came home later this afternoon, stayed for a little while, finished mowing the back yard, did a few other chores, then, took a shower and left again. :( I rarely get to see her any more. Please pray for her, she's having a rough day.

I'm going to T-town tomorrow to visit with my buddies tomorrow. Can't wait to see them!! We haven't had a chance to visit in quite some time. The weekends just go by way too fast!! I can't wait for summer!!

What a day! Thank you, Lord, for giving me another day. Thank you for everything You do. Even the unexpected text or phone call here and there gives me a pick-me-up. Thank you, Lord.

God is good. All the time.