Had way too much fun this summer. Got spoiled with all the traveling, staying up late, sleeping in until 8:30 or 9:00. Yes, that's sleeping in for me!! Met a TON of new people, spread my wings, took some chances, and had a blast! I did everything possible to keep my mind busy, plus, I joined a gym that is closer to home!! Love it!! Have been going three or four times a week!!! Why does summer always have to fly by?

First week of school is done. Five days down, only one hundred seventy-five left to go!! Woo-hoo!! On the second day with kiddos, I was christened with the proverbial "B" word!! Already! I must be doing something right! Ha!! :) That child will be gone for a couple of days!! I think I'm going to like this new administration!! Immediate results!!

Went to an "End of First Week of School Party" at one of my fellow teacher's homes last night!! Had fun!! My goal for this year is to be more social, get out of this house, and do things besides work all the time.

The other day a very dear friend sent me a little thing on my cell phone. It had a cute little video/song with a heart, rainbows, etc., and a little saying which went something like this:

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Friends are like balloons: once you let them go, you can't get them back. So, I'm gonna tie you to my heart so I never lose you."

That is where it all began.

Deja vu. Weird.

Thanks, Lord. You have SUCH a sense of humor! But, I still love You, with all my heart. I know You know what's best, even though I might not like it...

P.S. You looked happy, but, even more disturbing than that....is the fact that the person standing next to you DOES NOT. Why do you suppose that is? Hmmmmm...

Sometimes we get what we want, or what we THINK we want, only to discover we don't really want that at all. Chew on that one for awhile...

I'm not ready for this.

What can I say? You look happy. That's good. I'm happy for you. One of us certainly needs to be happy with our choices...might as well be you.

Staying busy is highly overrated. I thought that would be the ticket. The magic bullet. The way to forget. The way to move on.

I was wrong.

It doesn't work. At all.

Reminders everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. Summer. Songs on the radio. Dark gray Dodge parked in my driveway. That was a slap in my face. 3:00. Sonic. Tulsa. Muskogee. The fairgrounds. The race track. Every restaurant. The highway. Sports on t.v. You name it. It triggers a memory.

Why is this NOT getting any easier? I try to forget. I try to be happy. I try to stay busy. I pray. I read. I travel. I walk. I exercise. I garden. I play. I write. I clean. I drive. I talk. I sleep.

I cry.

Had a great weekend with lots of friends, at Fin and Feather Resort!!! So much laughter, fun, stories, food, and did I say, FUN?!?!?! I so needed this laughter, fun, and friends. We all did. What a blessing to be with so many people who help you leave all your worries behind, and experience uncontrollable laughter once again. To smile, to laugh, to have someone to talk to...priceless, and much needed.

Morgan got a JOB!!! YEAH!!! An answer to many, many prayers!! She will be working at Quik Trip!! Good benefits- medical/dental insurance, education stipends, etc. Helped her shop for some new clothes to work in, mainly khaki pants, shorts, some good tennis shoes, and took her out to eat for her birthday today!! Can't believe she is nineteen!!!

On Sunday, I went to church with my Dad. I'm holding on to these moments, for I know someday they'll be gone. I'm hoping it doesn't happen for a long, long time. I love my Dad so much. Thank you, Lord, for my sweet, sweet Daddy.

After church, I drove back to Tulsa to spend the afternoon with friends. We cooked out, ate lots of yummy food, and best of all, I got to hold Irwin, the kangaroo!!! He's the softest, sweetest, cutest little animal I've ever seen and held!! Haven't got to visit with my friends, in person, in quite some time. It was a good day. We're all looking forward to our weekend with our friends from high school next weekend!!! Should be lots of fun catching up with them!!

Having a great weekend!! Spent the night in Tulsa last night; went shopping for our Fin & Feather weekend gag gifts with my girlfriends; came back home to go to Jake & Amanda's Fourth of July Party! Lots of food, friends, family, and fireworks!!!

June, please slow down. I don't want to see July. Summer is going by WAY too quickly. I'm trying to keep busy.

I went on a ten day vacation to Louisiana with a friend. We stayed in Baton Rouge; visited St. Francisville, New Orleans, and lots of places in between. I met a multitude of sweet people with wonderful Southern accents, rode a boat at sunset, sampled new and interesting foods, tasted my first beignets, saw some beautiful old homes and churches, lots of lush gardens, shopped 'til we dropped, found some treasures, walked all over New Orleans, rode a trolley, and had a great time. I was able to take some great pictures, but, not near enough. Hopefully, I'll be able to post a few soon.

Celebrated Jakob's first birthday as soon as I returned from Louisiana. I made his birthday cakes and took them to Lake Eufaula, where tons of his family members were camping. Got to see lots of old friends! Jakob is getting SO big. He learned how to walk before his first birthday, and has several teeth!! He loves his "Grammy"(and she loves him!!!), and cried to go home with me when I went to see him after returning from Louisiana!! :) He's a perfect little angel.

Have been super busy with my massage business since returning from Louisiana. Went to a send off party for a fellow teacher who is moving to Dallas in a couple of days. Went shopping with a friend today in Claremore and Pryor, after getting pedicures and a new haircut. Had fun. It's been a whirlwind of a summer, so far. I'm not ready to even think about going back to school. Summer is way too short, but, it's not over yet. Still more things to do before it's over, lots of plans with friends, and a couple more road trips.

One month today. It's been one month. Longest month ever. I try to forget, but, I fail there too. I try to move on. It looks like I have, on the outside. The inside is still stuck in time, forever. Such an ugly word - forever. Such a long time. I still remember everything. I've played everything over and over in my mind. Still no answer. What did I do? Why? What a nightmare. What a cruel joke. Life. Dear Lord, please just help me get through this. Why can't I just close this door? Why can't I just move on? Why do I have to remember everything? How long is this going to hurt? There's that "forever" word again...